lazy

so im sitting on my couch, no that's and understatement my ass and shoulder are in-bedded in the couch watching Russell Peters, i happen to look down and notice iv lost some weight and my pj pants are ridding dangerously low i mean to the point of half an inch lower and i could be on the cover of rolling stones.
so i pull them up or rather try... now, you know when ur wearing pants that r to big n u try n pull them up while lying down, then they do the oh so sexy impression of a circus tent... yeah so i try and undo the strings to tighten them, and thats where it starts to go down hill.... iv never actually undone the strings before so they r welded in to this big floppy bow that is mocking me.
Im liying their trying to unwork the knot, im so immersed in this that i break 2 nails! but im way to lazy to get up n grab a fork to try n work one prong into the knot to loosen it, so i decide that it would be easyer to bend my head down towatds my crotch and pull my pj pants up as far as they will go( giving myself a massive wedgie) and use my teeth to try and pry this knot apart. as u can tell stellar idea, defiantly one of my shining momments
oh yeah this is so much easier then getting a fork... im hunched over drooling gnawing at this fucking piece of string my pants are so far up my ass the seam is on one side of my clit digging in... its bad.
FINALLY i loosen the knot by yanking my head back with one string( the part thats tied) in between my clenched teeth( i was griping this bitch so hard it woulda made a cheetah on the discovery channel proud) and my seam rips. so now im covered in drool my teeth hurt 2 broken fingernails my neck is permanently fucked and my pj's r ripped.....BUT!
at least i got the knot undone, and re tied to fit. * rolls eyes* im going to bed

Sandpaper

I sometimes think of my self as sand paper, A smart-ass, tough-talking, gin sucking SOB. A rough cold calculating bitch who some how smooths the edges of the life's of people around me. Like i said sandpaper a scratchy, persistent, wrong-way-rub that leaves every thing more even.
I waz born going against the grain even from birth, after the DR's put my ma in to a drug educed labor i still took my sweet ass time, 24 hrs to be exact to get my red, goo covered, ass out into this wonderfull wourld.
My ma is very Catholic so i am pagan, the world says a tated up freak like me should com from white trash well, both my parents are extremely educated. I was a junkie who waz supposed to die of an OD never mind make nething of herself and now i work on Main n Hastings as a front line addictions support worker while studying to get my RN. I was suposed to be straight get married n have grand-baby's for my ma to croon over, instead I'm more than likely to settle down with a woman and adopt.
Like i said sand paper always going against the grain, but in doing so i think iv showen others that they can change as well, what i mean is i was a junkie who was addicted to crystal a substance on 3%of ppl can kick, iv been clean for 8 yrs and have an post secondary education. I was suposed to be straight but am out n proud hopefully giving queer kids out their strength to be who they really are,,, ect
Its not easy but its who i am.
lol. A smart-ass, tough-talking, gin sucking SOB.

those who strive for mediocrity

Men especial use terms like " what I'm a guy", implying they have no choice but to be like every other guy out their,those who strive for mediocrity reeeaaalllyyyyy piss me off.
In today's society we have unsaid general "sayings" such a s
"its ok to have your own opinion as long as its the same as mine", we no longer nourish the creative the different, the original.
Were so afraid to be on our own, alone, the minority that we shun what we don't agree with or understand, hoping to blend in and become one with the masses, to use mediocrity as a security blanket. Shelter form the proverbial storm so to speak.
saying such as "common sense" and "original thought" are becoming oxymoron's, out dated and looked upon as a relic from a time past, like home cooked meals and black and white T.V.
mediocrity is a double-side switch blade, fast and with a point as sharp as  scream, slicing through or populaces, encouraging pure-pressure by cutting up ones desire to be different and on the back swing severing our ties to new ideas and driving home its point in to our ability to grow by thinking out side of the box as a hole; society wise and in ones self.
But hey thats just MY opinion, and the fact the the bf who i was raving about earlier turned out to be well... lets just say my original hypothesis that the sexes don't mix with each other i now fully believe is accurate, has nothing to do with shit......

demons of a lost love

she gouges her flesh leaving blood filled trenches behind as she admits a noise that tears from her through with the force of a fog horn and the pitch of a thousand soul's screaming as they burn in a pit of fire.
such was her pain.
surrounding her, her deamons quenched their thirst on the pools of her blood and satisfied their hunger by devouring her screams.

as time went on she learned the iron control of quieting her screams, stopping her tears.
she learned to put on the smile of some one who is void of feeling, warmth, and sincerity.
she hid behind her pleasant mask was all she had left for she was dead inside.

The demons had swallowed, devoured and excreted everything she was or would ever be

so now a smiling shell she walks through life cold empty indifferent and alone.

Doomed to walk on with nothing but the sweet memories of her love lost and gone for ever out of her straining grasp,

to torment her.

time to nut up or shut up

well, that one word just about sums my life up.
things are still going well with my bf he opens doors and picks up the check, sex is geting better, but work is starting to take a down hill slide lost 2 of my shifs so i was forced to apply for a position at another building, which i dont want but need the money,the manager at the new building is fucking useless one of those "im related to the owner their for i have a job even tho i suck at working with people, let alone the population on the down town east side so im just going to wright up all the people under me to make me look moderately competent" types.
u know, one of the reasons goddess invented sawed off shot guns and napalm, not necessarily in that order ether.
sigh* oh well at least i have my bf and this work sitch has made up my mind about going back to school where i can be around people who's idea of an intellectual conversation dus not intail the best way to push a pipe, or who's sleeping with who and im not talking about my clients.
and thats where this opinionated pansexual is at, unfortunately nothing exciting has happened but i promise to where my steel toed boots out to a seedy bar and get way to inebriated and pick a fight with some one bigger than me for next time i wright...
signing off
sincerely
bitter old bitch ME!!!!!

Wtf

Who the fuck has a family blog?

New yr madness

So it's almost half way through the month the other shoe hasn't dropped in regards to my bf being to nice and accommodating work is going well and student loans hasn't called the collection agency yet so I'd say it's a pretty HUD start to the yr..... Other than the fact that I think our sex is meh... Ok and he thinks im Aphrodite re in carnet... And I don't have the balls to tell him he's to sweet and innocent, if I told him I'd feel like I kicked a puppy.

Sigh* oh well I guess I'll have to do it the hard way and just teach him through actions and let him think he figured it out on his own.

The things I do in the name of corrupting innocents LOL