so im sitting on my couch, no that's and understatement my ass and shoulder are in-bedded in the couch watching Russell Peters, i happen to look down and notice iv lost some weight and my pj pants are ridding dangerously low i mean to the point of half an inch lower and i could be on the cover of rolling stones.
so i pull them up or rather try... now, you know when ur wearing pants that r to big n u try n pull them up while lying down, then they do the oh so sexy impression of a circus tent... yeah so i try and undo the strings to tighten them, and thats where it starts to go down hill.... iv never actually undone the strings before so they r welded in to this big floppy bow that is mocking me.
Im liying their trying to unwork the knot, im so immersed in this that i break 2 nails! but im way to lazy to get up n grab a fork to try n work one prong into the knot to loosen it, so i decide that it would be easyer to bend my head down towatds my crotch and pull my pj pants up as far as they will go( giving myself a massive wedgie) and use my teeth to try and pry this knot apart. as u can tell stellar idea, defiantly one of my shining momments
oh yeah this is so much easier then getting a fork... im hunched over drooling gnawing at this fucking piece of string my pants are so far up my ass the seam is on one side of my clit digging in... its bad.
FINALLY i loosen the knot by yanking my head back with one string( the part thats tied) in between my clenched teeth( i was griping this bitch so hard it woulda made a cheetah on the discovery channel proud) and my seam rips. so now im covered in drool my teeth hurt 2 broken fingernails my neck is permanently fucked and my pj's r ripped.....BUT!
at least i got the knot undone, and re tied to fit. * rolls eyes* im going to bed
